Ever been watching The Crown or Bridgerton and heard someone call another a "muppet" or a "pillock"? If you're scratching your head wondering what these British slang words mean, you're not alone. While Americans and Brits might speak the same language, British insults are in a league of their own – colorful, creative, and sometimes completely baffling to anyone outside the UK.
From mild jabs that slip past TV censors to colorful expressions that would make your buddy blush, we've rounded up over 50 of the most shocking and commonly used British insults.
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British Insults Used By The Locals
Let's be honest – some of the most memorable moments with native speakers come from understanding their humor, including the playful insults they throw around with close friends. While these might not be suitable for your first meeting with the Queen (or any tourist interaction, really), knowing these British insults can help you better understand British banter and maybe even join in once you've built solid friendships with locals.
In this section, we'll break down the most common British insults by category, from light-hearted teases to more offensive territory.
11 Silly/Playful British Slang Insults
These insults are generally harmless and often sound more funny than offensive, making them perfect for light-hearted ribbing.
- Muppet - A foolish or incompetent person ("You absolute muppet, you've put the milk in before the tea bag!")
- Plonker - Someone who just made a silly mistake or poor decision ("What a plonker, he tried to use a fork to eat soup!")
- Wally - A silly or foolish person, often used when someone does something clumsy ("Stop being such a wally and help me find my keys!")
- Berk - A friendly way of calling someone an idiot ("You're a complete berk for forgetting your umbrella in London!")
- Donut/Doughnut - Someone who's done something obviously stupid ("You donut, you're wearing your shirt backwards!")
- Pillock - A clumsy or foolish person ("I just walked into a glass door like a proper pillock!")
- Dipstick - Someone who's being particularly dim or slow ("Come on, dipstick, it's not rocket science!")
- Nutter - Someone who's acting silly or slightly crazy ("Look at that nutter dancing on the table!")
- Wobbler - Someone who's lost their cool over something minor ("Don't be such a wobbler, I'll buy you another ice cream!")
- Turnip - A stupid or slow person ("You great turnip, that's not how you use a microwave!")
- Pudding - A soft or silly person who's made a mistake ("Oh, you pudding, that's not what I meant at all!")
10 Intelligence-Based British Insults
These insults often poke fun at someone's mental sharpness (or lack thereof) and are commonly used when someone's made an obvious blunder or displayed a remarkable lack of common sense. While some might sound harsh, they're often delivered with an undertone of endearment between friends.
- Thick - Stupid or slow to understand ("He's thick as two short planks if he thinks that'll work")
- Numpty - An incompetent or unwise person ("Don't be such a numpty, you can't charge your phone in the microwave")
- Daft - Silly or stupid in an endearing way ("You're being daft if you think wearing shorts in December is a good idea")
- Dense - Particularly slow to understand something obvious ("She's a bit dense, mate – didn't realize Britain was an island")
- Gormless - Lacking sense or initiative, often with a vacant expression ("He just stood there with that gormless look on his face")
- Dimwit - Someone who's not very bright ("What dimwit put the empty milk carton back in the fridge?")
- Pea-brain - Someone with limited intellectual capacity ("Only a pea-brain would try to catch a falling knife")
- Div/Divvy - Short for "divot," meaning a stupid person ("Stop being such a div and read the instructions")
- Nitwit - A foolish or stupid person ("Which nitwit ordered pineapple on all the pizzas?")
- Plank - Similar to "thick as a plank," someone who's notably stupid ("You complete plank, you've locked us both out!")
11 Animal-Inspired British Insults
These zoologically-inspired put-downs often have little to do with the actual animals they reference, but somehow they just work.
- Git - Though not strictly animal-based, it originated from "get" (offspring of an animal), now means an annoying or contemptible person ("Stop being such a git and give me back my phone")
- Cow - Usually directed at women, meaning someone unpleasant or malicious ("She's being a right cow about the whole situation")
- Pig - Someone who's being greedy or disgusting ("You pig, you ate the entire cake yourself!")
- Rat - A deceitful or disloyal person ("He's a proper rat for telling the boss about our long lunch breaks")
- Donkey - Someone who's stubborn or stupid ("Stop being such a donkey and admit you're wrong")
- Toad - An unpleasant or contemptible person ("That little toad stole my parking space!")
- Weasel - Someone who's sneaky or untrustworthy ("Don't trust that weasel, he'll only tell your secrets")
- Slug - A lazy, sluggish person ("Get off the couch, you slug, we've got work to do")
- Monkey - Someone who's being silly or mischievous ("Stop acting like a monkey and help me clean up")
- Goat - An old-fashioned term for someone who's being foolish ("You old goat, that's not how you use a smartphone")
- Pup - Though sometimes endearing, can be used for an arrogant young person ("That young pup thinks he knows everything")
11 Best British Insults
While some might sound rather tame to modern ears, they pack quite a punch when delivered with proper British indignation. These are the insults you might hear in a proper British pub argument or from an exasperated London cabbie stuck in traffic.
- Tosser - Someone who behaves like an idiot or engages in questionable behavior ("Look at that tosser trying to parallel park across two spaces")
- Bugger - A versatile term that can be both mild and strong depending on context ("The bugger scratched my new car!")
- Twit - A foolish or annoying person ("Don't be such a twit, that's obviously not how it works")
- Prat - An incompetent or foolish person ("He's made a right prat of himself at the Christmas party")
- Wanker - A very British way of calling someone unpleasant or foolish ("That wanker just pushed in front of the queue!")
- Pillock - A stupid or annoying person ("What pillock left the front door wide open?")
- Codger - Usually refers to an elderly person being difficult ("The old codger keeps complaining about kids these days")
- Trollop - An old-fashioned term for someone with loose morals ("She's carrying on like a proper trollop")
- Nincompoop - A foolish or stupid person ("Which nincompoop put the milk in before the tea bag?")
- Sod - A mildly offensive term for an annoying person ("The sod didn't even apologize for stepping on my foot")
- Knob - Someone who's being particularly difficult or unpleasant ("Don't be such a knob about it, just help me move this sofa")
11 Modern And Creative British Slang Insults
Just when you thought British insults couldn't get more creative, along comes the younger generation with a fresh batch of put-downs. These modern insults, heavily influenced by urban culture, social media, and reality TV shows like Love Island, have taken over British schools, Twitter feeds, and city streets.
- Melt - Someone who's being overly emotional or soft ("Stop being such a melt about your ex's Instagram post")
- Wasteman - Someone who's useless or wastes time ("He's such a wasteman, never shows up when he says he will")
- Basic - Someone who follows trends without any originality ("Look at her being basic with that pumpkin spice latte")
- Neek - A combination of 'nerd' and 'geek', but often used affectionately ("Come on neek, get off your computer and come to the pub")
- Wet - Someone who's being spineless or pathetic ("Don't be wet, just ask them out already")
- Dead - Completely boring or useless ("This party is dead, let's bounce")
- Dry - Someone who's boring or has no personality ("He's got dry chat, how did he get a date?")
- Clapped - Unattractive or unfortunate-looking ("His new haircut is absolutely clapped")
- Peak - Something that's bad or unfortunate ("That's peak for you mate, getting stuck in traffic on your first day")
- Butters - Ugly or unattractive ("That new building in town is proper butters")
- Wasteman - A useless or unreliable person ("Don't trust that wasteman with your homework, he'll forget it")
How To Learn British Insults And Slang
Want to master these British insults and sound like a proper Brit? Here's how you can immerse yourself in authentic British culture and pick up these colorful expressions naturally.
Watch British TV Shows
Nothing beats British television for learning real, contemporary slang. From the witty banter in "Peep Show" to the sharp-tongued conversations in "The Inbetweeners," British TV shows prove to be great resources for learning the language. With Lingopie, you can watch these shows with interactive subtitles that explain British slang in real-time.
Plus, you can click on any word or British phrase to see its meaning and save it for later practice. Whether it's period dramas or modern comedies, you'll get the context, pronunciation, and proper usage of British insults straight from the source.
Jonathan Del Prado
Get Cozy with British Movies
British films offer another brilliant way to learn how these insults fit into everyday conversations. From Guy Ritchie's cockney gangster films to Richard Curtis's romantic comedies, each genre brings its own flavor of British slang. Lingopie's movie collection includes a wide range of British English films with learning features that help you catch every nuanced insult and understand when (and when not) to use them. You can pause, replay, and study each creative put-down until you've mastered it.
Lorena Macedo
Tune Into British Music
British music isn't just about the Beatles and Rolling Stones – it's a fantastic way to pick up modern British slang and attitude. With Lingopie Music, you can explore everything from British punk to grime, where artists often use current slang in their lyrics. The platform offers synchronized lyrics with explanations of British expressions, letting you understand both the music and the culture behind the words.
Milena Andrade
Plus, many British artists are known for their clever wordplay and regional dialects, giving you exposure to different types of British English.
Ready to Level Up Your British Slang Game?
Ready to start learning? Give Lingopie a try today and dive into our massive collection of British shows, movies, and music. With our interactive learning features, you'll be throwing around proper British insults (at appropriate times, of course!).
Start your free trial now and unlock the world of British banter – we promise it'll be anything but pants *wink*
