240+ Tagalog Jokes That Will Make You LOL In Filipino

Okay, real talk – ever notice how Filipinos always seem to be in a good mood? Makes sense now that the Philippines just nabbed the #2 spot for the happiest country in Southeast Asia. I mean, these folks could probably crack jokes during a typhoon. How did I know? Well, it's because I'm a Filipino through and through!

And since you're in this post, I have a feeling you wanted to learn a few Tagalog jokes either because you're a Pinoy looking to up your pun game or an expat trying to fit in. That's great then because here, I'll be sharing not 50, not 100, but 200+ Tagalog jokes to truly become that go-to funny person in your crew!

Ready? Let's begin!

Learn a language with Lingopie

How Do You Say Joke In Tagalog?

The Tagalog word for joke is "biro" (bee-roh). Today, Filipinos also swap it up with the English word "joke" or with the Tagalized version "dyok." Let's see these words in action below:

  1. "Biro lang 'yan!" (That's just a joke!)
  2. "Joke lang, 'wag kang mag-alala." (Just kidding, don't worry.)
  3. "Dyok time! May narinig akong bagong punchline." (Joke time! I heard a new punchline.)

Saturday. Summer. Beautiful sunny day, so my friends and I decided to make a picnic and watch the sundown. Pretty fun and relaxed day.
Photo by Helena Lopes / Unsplash

100 Hugot Tagalog Jokes

Hugot literally means "to pull out," but in the context of Filipino humor, it's all about pulling those deep, often painful feelings straight from your heart and turning them into laughter. And let's be real – 99% of the time, we're talking about love here!

These jokes are the perfect blend of comedy and tragedy, like that time you thought you were going on a date, but ended up being the third wheel. Ouch, right? But hey, if we can't laugh about our heartbreaks, what else can we do?

  1. "Friends lang tayo, walang Malaysia" – We're just friends, no Malaysia (playing on the sound of "malice").
  2. "Taga Baguio ka ba? Because you’re so cold" – Are you from Baguio? Because you're so cold (Baguio is known for its cold weather).
  3. "Ingat ka, marami nang pa-fall ngayon" – Be careful, many are leading others on these days.
  4. "Sa limatik ka na nga lapitin, pinagtabuyan mo pa" – You attract leeches yet you shoo them away (metaphor for pushing away those who are interested).
  5. "Yung love story natin parang flight ko, akala ko delayed lang yun pala canceled na" – Our love story is like my flight, I thought it was just delayed but it was actually canceled.
  6. "The journey of a thousand miles begins pag may pera ka" – The journey of a thousand miles begins when you have money.
  7. "Sana piso fare pa rin" – I wish it was still piso fare (referring to a promotional cheap fare).
  8. "Ang pag-ibig parang itinerary. Madalas hindi nasusunod" – Love is like an itinerary. Often, it doesn't go as planned.
  9. "Buti pa kay manong tricycle driver, 25 pesos lang special kana" – Even with the tricycle driver, for 25 pesos, you're already special.
  10. "Nag camping may dalang mascara, BB cream, CC cream, eyeliner, lipstick, eyeliner, lip plumper, Pucha gusto maging Dyosa ng kagubatan" – Went camping with mascara, BB cream, CC cream, eyeliner, lipstick, eye liner, lip plumper, damn, wanted to be a goddess of the forest.
  11. "Ingat sa cliff diving. Delikado ang ma-fall lalo na kung walang sasalo sayo" – Be careful with cliff diving. It's dangerous to fall especially if no one will catch you.
  12. "Kung yung weather nga pabago-bago, feelings mo pa kaya?" – If even the weather changes, what more your feelings?
  13. "Kung mahal mo ko, wag mo akong Kazakhstan" – If you love me, don't 'Kazakhstan' me (playing on the word "cast" as in cast away).
  14. "Buti pa ang bundok inakyat mo, eh yung pag-akyat ng ligaw sakin kelan mo gagawin?" – You climbed the mountain, but when will you start courting me?
  15. "Buti pa yung guide, kahit pagod na hindi ako iniwan. Ikaw, hindi naman kita pinagod pero bakit mo ko binitawan?" – Even the guide, though tired, didn't leave me. You, I didn't tire you but why did you let go?
  16. "Sabi mo dollar lang ang ipagpapalit mo. Bakit pati ako?" – You said you would only change dollars. Why even me?
  17. "Buti pa ang travel mo kaya mong planuhin. Ako kaya? Kelan mo paplanuhing mahalin?" – You can plan your travel, but what about me? When will you plan to love me?
  18. "Basta text kita later, male-late na KUWAIT!" – I'll just text you later, I'm going to be late. Kuwait!
  19. "Ang usapan natin 'Leave no trace,' pero bakit ang sakit-sakit pa rin?" – We agreed on 'Leave no trace,' but why does it still hurt so much?
  20. "Buti pa ang bagyo, may pag-asa" – Even a typhoon has hope.
  21. "Buti pa ang algebra, may solution. Ikaw, wala ka bang solution sa pag-ibig mo?" - Even algebra has a solution, don't you have one for your love life?
  22. "Kung pagod ka na, ako pa ba? Ako na nga lang." - If you are tired, what about me? Let it be just me.
  23. "Para kang kape, binubuo mo ang umaga ko." - You're like coffee, you complete my morning.
  24. "Kung bola ka at ako ang player, sana lagi lang akong shoot para sayo." - If you were a ball and I were a player, I wish I'd always shoot for you.
  25. "Gusto ko maging superhero, para sagipin ang puso mong in distress." - I want to be a superhero, to save your distressed heart.
  26. "Minsan feeling ko illegal ang pag-ibig, kasi parang krimen ang iwan ka." - Sometimes I feel like love should be illegal because leaving you feels like a crime.
  27. "Bakit ba ako mag-aabala pa sa stars, kung ikaw lang naman ang gusto kong abutin?" - Why should I bother with the stars when it's you I want to reach?
  28. "Ikaw ang proof na love at first sight exists." - You are the proof that love at first sight exists.
  29. "Kung ang pag-ibig ay parang loading screen, sana hindi ka na matapos." - If love were like a loading screen, I wish it never ends.
  30. "Sana keyboard na lang ako, para sa tuwing magtatrabaho ka, ako ang pindot mo." - I wish I were a keyboard, so every time you work, it's me you're pressing.
  31. "Bakit ang hirap mong i-spell, kasing hirap ng pag-ibig ko sa’yo?" - Why are you so hard to spell, as hard as my love for you?
  32. "Parang expired na yung love mo, ang bilis mong magbago." - It seems like your love has expired, you change so quickly.
  33. "Ikaw ba ang wifi? Kasi automatic ang connection ko sa’yo." - Are you wifi? Because my connection to you is automatic.
  34. "Kung magiging parte ka ng traffic, gusto ko end-to-end, para walang humpay." - If you were part of traffic, I'd want it end-to-end, so it's non-stop.
  35. "Sana ulan ka na lang, para pag nasa labas ka, basang-basa ako sa pagmamahal mo." - I wish you were the rain, so whenever you're outside, I'm drenched in your love.
  36. "Ikaw ang favorite subject ko, kasi gustong-gusto kita aralin." - You are my favorite subject because I really want to study you.
  37. "Para kang assignment, hindi kita maiwan-iwan." - You're like an assignment, I can't leave you behind.
  38. "Gusto ko maging traffic light, para ako ang mag-control kung kailan ka titigil at kikilos." - I want to be a traffic light, to control when you stop and go.
  39. "Kung isa kang planeta, ikaw ang Earth, kasi dito lang ako nabubuhay." - If you were a planet, you'd be Earth, because it's the only place I can live.
  40. "Para kang libro na gustong-gusto kong buklatin araw-araw." - You're like a book I want to flip through every day.
  41. "Para kang alarm clock, ginigising mo ang natutulog kong puso." - You're like an alarm clock, you awaken my sleeping heart.
  42. "Kung memory card ka, gusto ko full ka ng memories natin." - If you were a memory card, I'd want you full of our memories.
  43. "Kung traffic ka, gusto ko stuck na lang ako sa'yo forever." - If you were traffic, I'd want to be stuck in you forever.
  44. "Sana planta ka na lang, para araw-araw kita dinidiligan ng pagmamahal." - I wish you were a plant, so I could water you with love every day.
  45. "Ikaw ba ang utang? Bakit ang hirap mong kalimutan?" - Are you debt? Why are you so hard to forget?
  46. "Kung virus ka, ayaw kong magpa-vaccine, mahawa na kung mahawa." - If you were a virus, I wouldn't want a vaccine, let it infect me.
  47. "Para kang paboritong kanta, hindi ako magsasawang ulit-ulitin ka." - You're like my favorite song, I'll never get tired of repeating you.
  48. "Sana libro ka na lang, para kahit kailan ko gusto, mabuksan kita." - I wish you were a book, so I could open you whenever I want.
  49. "Kung exam ka, gusto ko sa'yo lang bumagsak." - If you were an exam, I'd want to fail only with you.
  50. "Gusto ko maging astronaut, para ikaw na lang ang mundo ko." - I want to be an astronaut, so you would be my world.
  51. "Ikaw ba ang keyboard? Kasi type kita." - Are you a keyboard? Because you're my type.
  52. "Sana orasan ka na lang, para ikaw ang may hawak ng oras ko." - I wish you were a clock, so you could control my time.
  53. "Para kang tala, kasi tanging ikaw lang ang nagniningning sa buhay ko." - You're like a star, because you alone shine in my life.
  54. "Ikaw ba ay electric fan? Kasi umiikot ka na naman sa isip ko." - Are you an electric fan? Because you're spinning in my mind again.
  55. "Kung bola ka, gusto kong maging player mo, para sa akin lang ang iyong pag-ikot." - If you were a ball, I'd want to be your player, so your rotation would be only for me.
  56. "Gusto ko maging doktor, para gamutin ko ang sugat ng puso mo." - I want to be a doctor, to heal your heart's wounds.
  57. "Kung kape ka, gusto ko ikaw ang magpalakas ng umaga ko." - If you were coffee, I'd want you to be the one to energize my morning.
  58. "Para kang puzzle, kasi piece ka ng buhay ko." - You're like a puzzle, because you're a piece of my life.
  59. "Sana signal light ka, para alam ko kung kailan ako titigil o magpapatuloy." - I wish you were a signal light, so I know when to stop or go.
  60. "Ikaw ba ay sim card? Kasi best when loaded ka ng pagmamahal." - Are you a sim card? Because you're best when loaded with love.
  61. "Para kang assignment, hindi kita magawang tapusin." - You're like an assignment, I just can't finish you.
  62. "Kung piso ka, gusto ko, ako ang alkansya mo." - If you were a coin, I'd want to be your piggy bank.
  63. "Sana traffic light ka, para alam ko kung kailan ako titigil, magpapatuloy, o magdahan-dahan." - I wish you were a traffic light, so I'd know when to stop, go, or slow down.
  64. "Gusto kong maging tubig, para kahit paano mapawi ko ang uhaw mo sa pag-ibig." - I want to be water, so somehow I can quench your thirst for love.
  65. "Ikaw ba ay poste ng ilaw? Kasi ikaw lang ang liwanag ng buhay ko." - Are you a lamppost? Because you're the light of my life.
  66. "Sana ulap ka na lang, para kahit paano nasa langit pa rin ako." - I wish you were a cloud, so at least I'd still be in heaven.
  67. "Kung teleserye ka, sana replay na lang lagi para hindi ka matapos." - If you were a TV series, I wish it were always on replay so you'd never end.
  68. "Sana kape ka, para ikaw ang dahilan ng hindi ko pagtulog sa gabi." - I wish you were coffee, so you'd be the reason I stay up at night.
  69. "Ikaw ba ay sapatos? Kasi kahit saan ako magpunta, ikaw lang ang nagpapasaya sa akin." - Are you shoes? Because no matter where I go, you're the one who makes me happy.
  70. "Sana bola ka ng basketball, para sa akin lang ang iyong laro." - I wish you were a basketball, so your game would be only for me.
  71. "Kung isa kang libro, ikaw ang bookmark ko, para hindi kita mawala." - If you were a book, you'd be my bookmark, so I'd never lose you.
  72. "Para kang sudoku, komplikado ka man, pero nakakaadik ka." - You're like sudoku, complicated but addictive.
  73. "Gusto kong maging hangin, para kahit hindi mo ako makita, nararamdaman mo pa rin ako." - I want to be the wind, so even if you can't see me, you can still feel me.
  74. "Sana exam ka na lang, para kahit papaano, may chance akong ma-perfect ka." - I wish you were an exam, so at least I'd have a chance to perfect you.
  75. "Kung dagat ka, sana ako ang alon, para lagi akong babalik sa'yo." - If you were the sea, I wish I were the wave, so I'd always return to you.
  76. "Para kang crossword puzzle, mahirap solusyunan, pero exciting." - You're like a crossword puzzle, hard to solve but exciting.
  77. "Sana pintura ka, para ikaw lang ang nagpapakulay ng mundo ko." - I wish you were paint, so you'd be the only one coloring my world.
  78. "Ikaw ba ay sim card? Kasi kahit anong phone pa ang gamitin ko, ikaw lang ang network ko." - Are you a sim card? Because no matter what phone I use, you're my only network.
  79. "Kung kuryente ka, gusto ko ikaw lang ang magpapailaw ng buhay ko." - If you were electricity, I'd want you to be the only one lighting up my life.
  80. "Sana piso ka na lang, para kahit paano, lagi kitang mapapahalagahan." - I wish you were just a coin, so at least, I'd always value you.
  81. "Para kang homework, gabi-gabi kitang inuupuan pero hindi pa rin kita matapos-tapos." - You're like homework, I sit on you every night but I still can't finish you.
  82. "Kung pera ka, gusto kong ipunin ka hindi dahil sa halaga mo, kundi dahil sa hindi ko kaya kapag wala ka." - If you were money, I'd save you not because of your value, but because I can't stand to be without you.
  83. "Sana libro ka, para patuloy kita na pag-aralan." - I wish you were a book, so I could keep studying you.
  84. "Kung ulan ka, gusto kong maging lupa, para kahit paano, sa akin pa rin ang bagsak mo." - If you were rain, I'd wish to be the ground, so at least you'd fall back to me.
  85. "Para kang kanta sa playlist ko, di kita magsawaang ulit-ulitin." - You're like a song on my playlist, I never tire of repeating you.
  86. "Kung basketball ka, sana ako ang ring, para sa akin lang ang iyong mga shoot." - If you were a basketball, I wish I were the hoop, so all your shots would be just for me.
  87. "Sana traffic enforcer ka, para ikaw ang magpapahinto at magpapabilis ng tibok ng puso ko." - I wish you were a traffic enforcer, so you could stop and speed up my heartbeat.
  88. "Kung Google ka, sana ako ang internet connection, para sa akin lang ang access mo." - If you were Google, I wish I were your internet connection, so your access would be only through me.
  89. "Para kang balita sa umaga, binibigyan mo ng dahilan para magising ako." - You're like the morning news, giving me a reason to wake up.
  90. "Kung bola ka ng ping pong, gusto kong maging raketa, para lagi kitang mahampas pabalik sa akin." - If you were a ping pong ball, I'd want to be the paddle, so I could always hit you back to me.
  91. "Sana paintbrush ka, para ikaw lang ang nagpipinta ng ngiti sa mukha ko." - I wish you were a paintbrush, so you'd be the only one painting smiles on my face.
  92. "Para kang paboritong plato ko, gusto ko ikaw lang ang gamitin ko sa bawat kain." - You're like my favorite plate, I want to use only you at every meal.
  93. "Kung astronaut ka, sana ako ang space mo, para palagi kang bumabalik sa akin." - If you were an astronaut, I wish I were your space, so you'd always come back to me.
  94. "Para kang password, mahirap hulaan pero gustong-gusto kong malaman." - You're like a password, hard to guess but I really want to know.
  95. "Sana kuryente ka, para sa'yo lang ako magbabayad ng mahal." - I wish you were electricity, so I'd only pay expensive bills for you.
  96. "Para kang exam sa math, kinakabahan ako baka mali ang sagot ko." - You're like a math exam, I'm nervous I might get the answer wrong.
  97. "Sana salamin ka, para sa bawat tingin ko sa'yo, nakikita ko ang sarili ko." - I wish you were a mirror, so every time I looked at you, I'd see myself.
  98. "Para kang susi, kasi ikaw lang ang nakakabukas ng puso ko." - You're like a key because you're the only one who can unlock my heart.
  99. "Kung bola ka sa bowling, sana ako ang pins, para lagi mo akong tamaan." - If you were a bowling ball, I wish I were the pins, so you'd always hit me.
  100. "Sana scientist ako, para ikaw naman ang experiment ko." - I wish I were a scientist, so you could be my experiment.
How To Laugh Online In Different Languages
Laughter connects us all, no matter where we’re from or what language we speak. In today’s digital world, where we chat, joke, and connect online, laughter plays a big part in our online communication too. But have you ever thought about how people from different cultures express laughter online? I…
Photo by Omar Lopez / Unsplash

50 Wordplay Filipino Tagalog Jokes

From simple puns that'll make you snort your sago't gulaman, to mind-bending double meanings that'll have you saying "Ah... gets!" five minutes later, we've got it all. These jokes are like a workout for your Tagalog skills – they stretch your vocabulary, twist your comprehension, and leave you feeling delightfully confused.

  1. Ano ang tawag sa maliit na waves? Micro-waves! - What do you call small waves? Microwaves!
  2. Anong tawag sa financial analyst na mahilig mag-bake? Eh 'di, pie-nancial analyst. - What do you call a financial analyst who loves to bake? A pie-nancial analyst.
  3. Paano mag-diet ang mga planets? Nag-ve-venus sila ng kanin. - How do planets diet? They venus (a play on "minus") their rice.
  4. Ano ang tawag sa masarap na witness? Eh 'di, tasty-mony. - What do you call a delicious witness? Tasty-mony (play on "testimony").
  5. Anong room ang walang dingding at bubong? Eh di, mushroom. - What room doesn’t have walls or a roof? Mushroom.
  6. Ano ang ginagamit na pangtanggal ng sakit ng mga superheroes? Eh 'di, pain-killer. - What do superheroes use to remove pain? Pain-killer.
  7. Anong tawag sa masarap na test? Taste-test. - What do you call a delicious test? Taste-test.
  8. Ano ang favorite exercise ng mga numbers? Eh di, num-ba. - What’s the favorite exercise of numbers? Num-ba (play on "Zumba").
  9. Bakit hindi natutulog ang dough? Kasi lagi siyang bread-y. - Why doesn’t dough sleep? Because it's always bready (ready).
  10. Ano ang tawag sa doctor ng mga fish? Eh di, FISHician! - What do you call a fish doctor? A FISHician!
  11. Anong isda ang bumabaril? Eh di, BANGus! - What fish does the shooting? A BANGus!
  12. Anong fish ang di makapal? Eh di, ManiFISH! - What fish is not thick? A ManiFISH!
  13. Saang subject palaging bumabagsak ang mga isda? Eh di, FISHsics! - On which subject do fish always fail? FISHsics!
  14. Anong fish ang may lahing insekto? Eh di, i-FISH! - What fish has an insect breed? An i-FISH!
  15. Sinong fish ang pumapalit pag wala ang Boss? Eh di, Ang o-FISH-er in charge! - Which fish buys without the Boss? The o-FISH-er in charge!
  16. Saang bansa ang paboritong pasyalan ng mga fish? Eh di, FIN-land! - In which country is the favorite vacation spot for fish? FIN-land!
  17. Bakit pumupunta ang mga fish sa pari? Eh di, Para magkum-FISH-al! - Why do fish go to the priest? For con-FISH-ion!
  18. Anong tawag sa fish na peke? Eh di, Arti-FISH-al! - What do you call fake fish? Arti-FISH-al!
  19. Ano katabi ng USA? USB. - What’s beside the USA? USB.
  20. Anong buhok na pumuputok? BANGS! - What hair goes 'pop'? BANGS!
  21. Anong pusa ang nagagalit pag tinatali? Tie-grrrrrr! - Which cat gets angry when tied? A Tie-ger!
  22. Sinong artista ang noodles? Si Vic Sottonghon. - Which celebrity is like noodles? Vic Sotto, punning on "sotanghon" (a type of noodle).
  23. Sino ang sikat na artista? Eh di, sikatchupoy. - Who is a popular celebrity? Sikatchupoy, a playful twist on 'sikat' (famous).
  24. Anong tawag sa kamaganak ng magnanakaw? RELATHIEVES. - What do you call a thief’s relative? RELATHIEVES.
  25. Anong kalbo ang malinis? Edi, clean-headed. - What bald thing is clean? A clean head.
  26. Anong ginawa ng bamboo nang nakita niya yung isang bamboo? Nag-kawayan sila. - What did one bamboo do when it saw another bamboo? They waved (play on "kawayan," which means bamboo and also to wave).
  27. Ano tawag mo sa tropa mong matangkad? ‘Tol; sa pandak? Li’ ‘Tol. - What do you call your tall friend? ‘Tol; your short friend? Little ‘Tol.
  28. Ano ang tawag sa unanong mabilis? Immidget. - What do you call a fast dwarf? Immidget.
  29. Ano ang tawag sa titong makulit? Uncle lit. - What do you call a bothersome uncle? Uncle lit.
  30. Bakit hindi tinatapakan ng elepante ang bubuyog? Dahil "Bee-responsable" sila. - Why doesn't the elephant step on the bee? Because they're "bee-responsible."
  31. Ano ang tawag sa isang dancing cow? "Moo-ing performer." - What do you call a dancing cow? A "Moo-ing performer."
  32. Bakit masarap ang computer? Kasi maraming bytes. - Why is a computer delicious? Because it has many bytes.
  33. Ano ang tawag sa magandang araw? Eh di, sun-sational. - What do you call a beautiful day? Sun-sational.
  34. Ano ang sinabi ng isang shoe sa isa pa? Eh di, sole-mate. - What did one shoe say to the other? Soul-mate.
  35. Bakit takot ang numero sa seven? Kasi seven ate nine. - Why is the number afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine.
  36. Ano ang tawag sa lugar kung saan nagtitipon ang mga pusa? Eh di, cat-hering place. - What do you call a place where cats gather? A cat-hering place.
  37. Ano ang tawag sa fruit na hindi makapag-decide? Eh di, manggaling. - What do you call a fruit that can't decide? A manggo-here (manggaling).
  38. Ano'ng tawag ng batang langgam sa auntie niya? Eh di... ANT-y! - What does a young ant call its aunt? Aunt-y!
  39. Anong regalo ng doktor sa may sakit na ibon? Eh di... TWEET-ment! - What does a doctor give to a sick bird? Tweetment!
  40. Alin ang mas maraming pasahero, jeep o ambulansya? Ambulansya, kasi madalas 50-50. -Which has more passengers, a jeep or an ambulance? The ambulance, often 50-50.
  41. Ano ang makukuha mo sa martial arts na baboy? Eh di... PORK CHOP! - What do you get from a karate pig? Pork chop!
  42. Paano mo hahatiin ang dagat? Gamit ang SEASAW! - How do you split the sea? With a sea-saw!
  43. Saan park ng mga aso ang kotse nila? Sa BARKING lot! - Where do dogs park their cars? In the barking lot!
  44. Anong gamot sa sugat ng baboy? OINKMENT! - What's the medicine for a pig's wound? Oinkment!
  45. Anong palaman ng astronaut sa sandwich? LAUNCH-eon meat! - What does an astronaut put on their sandwich? Luncheon meat!
  46. Ano ang sakit ng mga martial artist? KUNG FLU! - What illness do martial artists get? Kung Flu!
  47. Saan nagpapagupit ang mga tupa? Sa baa-baa shop! - Where do sheep get a haircut? At the baa-baa shop!
  48. Anong animal ang mahilig sa sports? Eh di, gympanzee. - What animal loves sports? A chimpanzee (pun on "gym").
  49. Saan nagtatago ang mga isda pag malungkot sila? Sa shellter. - Where do fish hide when they are sad? In a shell-ter (shelter).
  50. Saan nagtatrabaho ang mga isdang marunong mag-ayos ng buhok? Sa salmon (salon).
    Where do fish that are good at styling hair work? In a salmon (salon).
Saturday Night Live, Dad Jokes, and (e-)Laughs around the World | Lingopie Blog
Do you want to have a good laugh and learn a new language? We came up with some clever ways to combine the two. Dad jokes, comedy, and texting are involved!

92 Corny Dad Pinoy Jokes In Tagalog

In the Philippines, we don't just endure dad jokes; we elevate them to an art form. These are the jokes that make your kids roll their eyes so hard they can see their own brain. The ones that have titos everywhere slapping their knees and saying, "Uy, ang galing!" while everyone else is busy facepalming.

📖
Tito jokes, popular in Filipino culture, are humor typically associated with middle-aged uncles ("tito" in Tagalog). These jokes are often corny, dad-joke style puns or wordplay that might elicit groans and eye-rolls, but are delivered with charm and are a beloved part of Filipino family gatherings and social interactions.

But here's the thing: as much as we pretend to hate them, these corny Tagalog dad jokes are a Filipino family staple. They're like the comedy equivalent of adobo – sometimes dry, often repeated, but always somehow comforting. So if you're looking for the best Tagalog jokes to make a girl laugh, read my round-up below!

  1. Bakit masarap ang donut? Kasi sweet 'hole'. - Why are donuts delicious? Because they're sweet 'whole' (play on hole).
  2. Anong tawag sa masayang kape? Edi, nakakape-tawa. - What do you call a happy coffee? A laughable coffee (play on "kape-tawa").
  3. Anong isda ang mahilig sa math? Eh 'di, ang add-tuna. - Which fish loves math? The add-tuna.
  4. Bakit hindi makapag-shopping ang kalabaw? Kasi baka ma-carabao. - Why can't a water buffalo shop? Because it might get carabao-ed (play on "carry about").
  5. Anong tawag sa kalabaw na umaakyat ng bundok? Eh 'di, edi edventure. - What do you call a water buffalo climbing a mountain? An edventure.
  6. Paano mo sasabihin sa isda na mali siya? Eh 'di, eh di fish-appointing. - How do you tell a fish it's wrong? It's fish-appointing.
  7. Anong hayop ang laging nauuntog? Eh di, bamboo. - What animal always bumps its head? The bamboo.
  8. Bakit walang friends ang calendar? Kasi it has a lot of dates. - Why doesn't the calendar have friends? Because it has a lot of dates.
  9. Anong sabi ng isda nung hiwalayan siya ng girlfriend niya? I'm so fish-appointed. - What did the fish say when his girlfriend broke up with him? I'm so fish-appointed.
  10. Bakit mahirap maglaro ng hide and seek sa zoo? Kasi maraming cheetah. - Why is it hard to play hide and seek in the zoo? Because there are many cheetahs (play on "cheater").
  11. Anong tawag sa gulay na rapper? Edi, repolyo. - What do you call a vegetable that raps? A repol-yo (play on "repolyo" which means cabbage).
  12. Ano ang paboritong sport ng mga gamit sa bahay? Eh 'di, basket-bowl. - What's the favorite sport of household items? Basket-bowl.
  13. Ano ang sabi ng isang plant sa party? Aloe-ha! - What does a plant say at a party? Aloe-ha!
  14. Paano magpaalam ang mga prutas? Banana split! - How do fruits say goodbye? Banana split!
  15. Anong bear ang hindi bear? Eh di, eddy bear. - What bear is not a bear? An eddy bear.
  16. Anong tawag sa aso na magician? Eh 'di, elabradabra. - What do you call a dog that's a magician? A labra-cadabra.
  17. Ano ang paboritong lugar ng aso sa bahay? Eh 'di, bark-yard. - What's a dog's favorite place at home? The bark-yard.
  18. Bakit ayaw ng computer sa bahay? Kasi baka ma-virus. - Why doesn't the computer want to stay at home? Because it might get a virus.
  19. Anong tawag sa maliit na wave? Eh 'di, microwave. - What do you call a small wave? A microwave.
  20. Bakit malungkot ang notebook? Kasi lagi siyang binabalikan. - Why is the notebook sad? Because it's always being turned back to (play on being left behind).
  21. Bakit masakit sa ulo mag-aral sa gabi? Kasi madilim na, madaming limot pa. - Why is it painful to study at night? Because it's dark, and there's a lot to forget.
  22. Anong hayop ang palaging nagmamadali? Edi, ostrich (ostrits). - What animal is always in a hurry? The ostrich.
  23. Ano ang sabi ng isang planta kapag nasa disyerto? "Water you thinking about?" - What does a plant say in the desert? "Water you thinking about?"
  24. Ano ang paboritong inumin ng magsasaka? Eh 'di gulaman (gulay-man). - What's the farmer’s favorite drink? Gulaman (a pun on "vegetable man").
  25. Bakit ayaw maglaro ng chess ang mga aso? Kasi puro check (tsik) sila ng tsik. - Why don’t dogs like to play chess? Because they're all about checking (tsik).
  26. Anong tawag sa isdang nakakalipad? Eh 'di, flying fish. - What do you call a fish that can fly? A flying fish (deliberate straightforward answer for comic effect).
  27. Bakit malungkot ang wallet? Kasi laging wal-empty. - Why is the wallet sad? Because it's always wal-empty (play on "wallet" and "empty").
  28. Anong tawag mo sa bampira na mahilig sa kape? Eh di, coffee-nant. - What do you call a vampire who loves coffee? A coffee-nant (play on "coffin").
  29. Bakit masarap ang ice cream sa beach? Kasi cool ang dating. - Why is ice cream delicious at the beach? Because it arrives "cool" (a pun on the dual meaning of "cool").
  30. Ano ang tawag sa maliit na tsaa? Eh 'di, teacup. - What do you call a small tea? A teacup (literal joke).
  31. Bakit ayaw ng prutas magpunta sa party? Kasi baka ma-fruit salad sila. - Why don’t fruits want to go to parties? Because they might get fruit salad-ed.
  32. Anong tawag sa batang explorer? Eh 'di, Dora the Exploiter. - What do you call a young explorer? Dora the Exploiter.
  33. Ano ang paboritong palabas ng prutas? Game of Thorns. - What's the favorite show of fruits? Game of Thorns.
  34. Bakit hindi makapagsulat ang dagat? Kasi laging waves. - Why can’t the sea write? Because it's always waves.
  35. Anong tawag sa hayop na walang mata? Eh di, eh di wow (play on "walang mata" sounding like "wow"). - What do you call an animal with no eyes? Eh di wow.
  36. Paano mo sasabihin sa tubig na mag-ingat siya? Eh di, water you doing? - How do you tell water to be careful? Water you doing?
  37. Ano ang tawag sa masarap na echo? Eh di, echo-late. - What do you call a delicious echo? Echo-late (play on "chocolate").
  38. Bakit ayaw ng mga libro sa tubig? Kasi baka sila ma-book-log. - Why don’t books like water? Because they might get book-logged.
  39. Ano ang sabi ng isda nung nagkasakit siya? "I'm feeling a bit gill-ty." - What did the fish say when it got sick? "I'm feeling a bit gill-ty."
  40. Ano ang tawag sa hayop na mahilig mag-shoot? Eh di, shoo-ta. - What do you call an animal that likes to shoot? Shoo-ta.
  41. Bakit masarap ang airplane food? Kasi it’s plane delicious! - Why is airplane food delicious? Because it’s plane delicious!
  42. Anong tawag sa babaeng mahilig sa kape? Barista Girl. - What do you call a girl who loves coffee? Barista Girl.
  43. Bakit ayaw ng numero 4 sa numero 5? Kasi five-second rule. - Why doesn't number 4 like number 5? Because of the five-second rule.
  44. Ano ang sabi ng isang bat sa isa pang bat pagkatapos ng trabaho? "Let's hang out!" - What did one bat say to another after work? "Let's hang out!"
  45. Anong tawag sa dinosaur na mahilig mag-ayos ng buhok? Hairsaurus. - What do you call a dinosaur that likes styling hair? Hairsaurus.
  46. Bakit nag-break ang kutsara at tinidor? Kasi fork-ever wasn’t possible. - Why did the spoon and fork break up? Because fork-ever wasn’t possible.
  47. Ano ang tawag sa hayop na mahilig sa sapatos? Shoebra. - What do you call an animal that loves shoes? Shoebra.
  48. Bakit hindi makapag-decide ang libro? Kasi marami siyang pages. - Why can’t the book decide? Because it has too many pages.
  49. Ano ang sabi ng gulay sa party? "Lettuce have fun!" - What did the vegetable say at the party? "Lettuce have fun!"
  50. Bakit masarap ang energy drink sa math class? Kasi it multiplies your energy. - Why is the energy drink delicious in math class? Because it multiplies your energy.
  51. Ano ang paboritong music ng mga aso? Bark-n-Roll. - What’s dogs' favorite music? Bark-n-Roll.
  52. Anong tawag sa masarap na numero? Edi three-cheese (treats). - What do you call a delicious number? Three-cheese (treats).
  53. Anong ginagamit na search engine ng mga ibon? Eh 'di, Google Peck.- What search engine do birds use? Google Peck.
  54. Bakit hindi magaling sa sports ang calculator? Kasi madali itong ma-press-ure. - Why isn’t a calculator good at sports? Because it's easily pressured.
  55. Anong tawag sa robot na maraming trabaho? Robo-tired. - What do you call a robot with many tasks? Robo-tired.
  56. Bakit laging nagwawagi ang mga sabon sa debate? Kasi lagi silang may point. - Why do soaps always win debates? Because they always have a point.
  57. Ano ang sabi ng isa't isa ng mga planeta pagkatapos ng party? "What a blast!" - What did the planets say to each other after the party? "What a blast!"
  58. Anong tawag sa naliligaw na wolf? A where-wolf. - What do you call a lost wolf? A where-wolf.
  59. Bakit gusto ng mga ibon ang social media? Kasi madami silang tweets. - Why do birds like social media? Because they have a lot of tweets.
  60. Bakit masarap ang tsaa sa desert? Kasi sand-tea ('sandy'). - Why is tea delicious in the desert? Because it's sandy.
  61. Ano ang sabi ng dagat sa beach? "Long tide no see." - What did the sea say to the beach? "Long tide no see."
  62. Anong tawag sa asong mahilig sa science? Eh di, lab-rador. - What do you call a dog that loves science? A lab-rador.
  63. Bakit hindi umaasenso ang chess pieces? Kasi puro sila pawn (poor). - Why don’t chess pieces progress? Because they’re all pawns (poor).
  64. Anong favorite subject ng mga ibon sa school? Eh 'di owl-gebra. - What's birds' favorite subject in school? Owl-gebra.
  65. Bakit hindi nagkakasundo ang dalawang tubig? Kasi lagi silang nag-co-clash of currents. - Why don’t two waters get along? Because they always clash of currents.
  66. Anong tawag sa matapang na kape? Eh di, brew-tal. - What do you call a strong coffee? Brew-tal.
  67. Bakit masaya ang math book? Kasi maraming problems na naso-solve. - Why is the math book happy? Because it has many problems to solve.
  68. Bakit masaya ang kalendaryo? Kasi marami itong dates. - Why is the calendar happy? Because it has many dates.
  69. Tatlong kalbo, tumalon sa tubig, sino ang nabasa ang buhok? Wala, kalbo sila! - Three bald men jump into the water, whose hair got wet? None, they're bald!
  70. Bakit laging malungkot ang kalendaryo? Dahil bilang na ang araw niya. - Why is the calendar always sad? Because its days are numbered.
  71. Ano ang pagkakaparehas ng UTOT at TULA? Pareho silang produkto ng POET. - What do a fart and a poem have in common? Both are products of a poet.
  72. Ano'ng puno ang hindi aakyatin? Yung nakatumba! - Which tree can't you climb? The one that's fallen!
  73. Ano ang tawag sa anak ng taong grasa? Eh di, baby oil! - What do you call the child of a greasy person? Baby oil!
  74. Anong key ang nakakabukas ng banana? Eh di, monkey! - What key opens a banana? A monkey!
  75. Ano ang ginagawa ng cow kapag tumatawid sa kalye? Eh di, moo-ve. - What does a cow do when crossing the street? It moves.
  76. Ano ang paboritong lugar ng mga ghost sa mall? Eh di, boo-tique. - What's a ghost's favorite place in the mall? The boutique.
  77. Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna? "I'm tuna (two-na)!" - What did the fish say when it was cut in the middle? "I'm two-na!"
  78. Ano ang favorite sport ng mga pusa? Eh di, purr-suit. - What's the favorite sport of cats? Pursuit.
  79. Ano ang sabi ng prutas bago mag-opera? "I'm in a peeling!" - What did the fruit say before surgery? "I'm in a peeling!"
  80. Anong sasakyan ang lagi mong makikita sa kusina? Eh di, cabinet. - What vehicle can you always find in the kitchen? A cabinet.
  81. Bakit hindi makapag-relax ang mga bituin sa langit? Kasi lagi silang starressed. - Why can't the stars in the sky relax? Because they're star-ressed.
  82. Anong tawag sa masahe na ginagawa sa dagat? Eh di, sea-sage. - What do you call a massage done at sea? A seasage.
  83. Anong business ang paborito ng mga fish? Eh di, scale-ing. - What business do fish like best? Scaling.
  84. Bakit masaya ang geometry? Kasi maraming angles. - Why is geometry happy? Because it has many angles.
  85. Ano ang paboritong lugar ng mga camera? Eh di, shooting range. - What is the camera's favorite place? The shooting range.
  86. Ano ang tawag sa grupo ng mga kuting na kumakanta? Eh di, mew-sic band. - What do you call a group of kittens that sing? A mew-sic band.
  87. Anong tawag sa matandang snowman? Eh di, snowpa. - What do you call an old snowman? Snowpa.
  88. Anong ibon ang mahilig sa math? Eh di, pi-geon. - What bird loves math? A pi-geon.
  89. Ano ang tawag sa maliit na trumpet? Eh di, trumpetit. - What do you call a small trumpet? Trumpetit.
  90. Anong sasakyan ang laging masarap? Eh di, van-illa. - What vehicle is always delicious? Van-illa.
  91. Bakit ayaw ng mga plantsa sa drama? Kasi ayaw nila ng press-ure. - Why don’t irons like drama? Because they dislike pressure.
  92. Ano ang favorite snack ng mga computers? Eh di, microchips. - What's the favorite snack of computers? Microchips.

The Role Of Media In Tagalog Jokes

Let's face it, Pinoys are media junkies. From noontime shows to primetime teleseryes, from YouTube vlogs to TikTok trends, we're always tuned in. And guess what? This media obsession plays a huge role in shaping our jokes and humor.

Remember when everyone was quoting Vice Ganda's "Edi wow!" or Kris Aquino's "I'm so inggit!"? That's the power of media in action. TV shows, movies, and now social media platforms are like joke factories, churning out new punchlines that can go trending in a snap.

These days, you're just as likely to hear a Tagalog joke inspired by a viral TikTok as you are to hear a classic "Bubble Gang" reference. Our Filipino jokes evolve with our viewing habits, creating a shared language of humor that's uniquely Pinoy.

But here's a cool thing about consuming media in any language – it's actually a great way to learn! Yup, all those hours binge-watching your fave shows aren't wasted time. They're secret language lessons!

0:00
/

Laugh & Learn Foreign Languages With Lingopie

if you're a Pinoy looking to level up your language game beyond Tagalog, why not try learning through TV shows and movies? There's this nifty platform called Lingopie that lets you watch content in languages like Italian, French, Spanish, and more. It's like Netflix, but for language learning. Pretty cool, right?

Just imagine picking up French while watching a rom-com, or learning Spanish through a thrilling telenovela. Who knows? You might even pick up some international jokes to add to your repertoire!

So next time someone tells you you're watching too much TV, just tell them you're on a linguistic journey. And who knows? Maybe one day you'll be cracking jokes in multiple languages!

You've successfully subscribed to The blog for language lovers | Lingopie.com
Great! Next, complete checkout to get full access to all premium content.
Error! Could not sign up. invalid link.
Welcome back! You've successfully signed in.
Error! Could not sign in. Please try again.
Success! Your account is fully activated, you now have access to all content.
Error! Stripe checkout failed.
Success! Your billing info is updated.
Error! Billing info update failed.